Steps to Overwriting Self-Sabotaging Behaviours
Self-sabotage is a sneaky companion. It shows up as procrastination, perfectionism, avoidance, overthinking, or even through subtle habits that keep us small. At its core, self-sabotage is the unconscious belief that we are not worthy of success, peace, or happiness - and so we sabotage ourselves before life has the chance to hand us the very things we desire.
The good news? Self-sabotage is not permanent. It’s simply a pattern. And like any pattern, it can be reprogrammed. Here are steps you can take to begin overwriting those behaviours and replacing them with empowered action.
Step 1: Examine Your Actions and Identify Your Behaviours
The first step to transformation is awareness. You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Take a clear, honest look at your patterns:
Do you avoid opportunities because of fear?
Do you start projects but never finish them?
Do you tell yourself you’re not ready, not good enough, or not worthy?
By naming the behaviours, you strip them of their unconscious power. Self-awareness is the flashlight that reveals where your energy is leaking.
Step 2: Pay Attention to What Ignites You
Self-sabotage doesn’t only live in the shadows - it also hides in our triggers. Notice what sparks you in an explosive way.
Does someone else’s success trigger jealousy or self-doubt?
Does constructive feedback make you defensive?
Do you shrink back when opportunities arise to be seen or heard?
These sparks aren’t random—they are invitations. They show you where unhealed stories still live. By leaning into them, you can begin to heal the root cause rather than reacting to the surface behaviour.
Step 3: Redefine Failure
One of the biggest fuels for self-sabotage is the fear of failure. But what if failure wasn’t the end of the story - what if it was the teacher?
Failure is simply a closed door, leaving behind a book and keys to help you move forward. Every mistake holds information. Every setback leaves breadcrumbs of wisdom.
When you redefine failure as feedback, you remove its sting. You begin to see each experience as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.
Step 4: Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone is warm and cosy, like a soft bed on a cold morning. But growth never happens under the covers.
Stepping into discomfort is where the magic happens. It’s where resilience is built and where we prove to ourselves that we can do hard things.
As Mel Robbins famously says:
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1. GO.”
Sometimes it’s that simple - count down and act before fear has a chance to talk you out of it.
Step 5: Stop Procrastinating
Procrastination is one of the most common forms of self-sabotage. We tell ourselves we’re waiting for the “right time,” but really, we’re just giving fear more time to build its case.
The longer you wait, the louder the inner critic gets. Overthinking doesn’t protect you - it paralyzes you.
Action, even small action, is the antidote. Start with one step, no matter how imperfect. Momentum builds confidence, and confidence disrupts sabotage.
Final Reflection
Self-sabotage thrives in silence and avoidance. It shrinks in the face of awareness, action, and self-compassion.
So I leave you with this reflection:
What self-sabotaging behaviours are you currently harbouring? And what small step can you take today to begin overwriting them?
You are not bound to the patterns of your past. You have the power to create new neural pathways, new habits, and a new reality - one aligned with the truth of your worth.
With courage and clarity,
Chantelle
