The Importance of a YES Day with Your Child: Deepening Connection, Trust, and Joy
Parenting is a beautiful but challenging journey. Between balancing work, household responsibilities, school schedules, and the emotional needs of our children, it’s easy to fall into routines dictated by “no” rather than “yes.” Rules, limits, and structure are important, of course - but there is profound value in intentionally saying yes to your child once in a while.
Once a month, I set aside a day completely dedicated to saying “YES” to my daughter’s requests (within reason). Yesterday was filled with laughter, curiosity, adventure, and moments of pure magic. But YES Day isn’t just about fun - it’s about something much deeper: connection, trust, independence, and mindful parenting.
YES Days as a Tool for Bonding
Connection is the foundation of healthy parent-child relationships. YES Days allow us to pause and step fully into our child’s world, engaging in activities and experiences that matter most to them.
During a YES Day, you create space for:
Laughter: Play, spontaneity, and joy foster shared positive experiences.
Curiosity: Explore your child’s imagination, interests, and passions without judgment.
Presence: Focus entirely on your child, leaving behind distractions like work, chores, or technology.
Example:
On our last YES Day, we built a blanket fort, explored a nearby park, and created homemade “potions” in the kitchen. Each activity wasn’t planned to teach a lesson - it was about experiencing joy and curiosity together, strengthening our bond through shared memories.
Reflective Prompt:
Think about the last time you truly engaged with your child without distractions. How did it feel? How can you recreate that feeling intentionally?
Fostering Trust Through Autonomy
A YES Day isn’t just play - it’s a practice in trust. By letting your child lead decisions, even temporarily, you communicate that their voice, ideas, and preferences matter. This strengthens emotional security and mutual respect.
Why it matters:
Children learn that their opinions are valued
They develop confidence in decision-making
Trust grows when children see that their parents respect their choices
Practical Tip:
Let your child plan the day (within safe boundaries). Ask open-ended questions like:
“What adventure would make you happiest today?”
“Which activity should we start with?”
Notice how their excitement and confidence grow when they take the lead.
Encouraging Independence
YES Days provide children with the opportunity to practice autonomy in a safe, supportive environment. By making choices and exploring consequences under your guidance, they develop essential life skills:
Decision-making
Problem-solving
Self-expression
Emotional regulation
Even small choices - like what to eat for lunch, which game to play, or which route to take to the park - teach children how to trust themselves and their judgment.
Reflective Prompt:
Identify one area in your child’s day-to-day life where you could allow more independent choice. How can you support them while still maintaining safety and structure?
YES Days and the Psychology of Childhood
Research in child development shows that children benefit from uninterrupted play, creative freedom, and parental engagement. YES Days are not indulgence - they are developmental tools that foster:
Emotional resilience
Creativity and imagination
Healthy parent-child attachment
Problem-solving and cognitive flexibility
Stepping into their world allows you to experience life from their perspective, which strengthens empathy, patience, and understanding - critical skills for any parent.
Practical Steps to Create a Successful YES Day
Plan Ahead (or Don’t):
Decide on a general day each month. Some parents prefer to leave it completely unstructured; others create a few guiding parameters for safety and feasibility.Set Reasonable Boundaries:
Say yes to what aligns with safety and practicality. Explain gently why certain requests cannot be fulfilled, maintaining trust while protecting limits.Be Fully Present:
Turn off notifications, avoid multitasking, and immerse yourself fully in the moment. Your presence is the most valuable gift.Capture Memories:
Take photos, create drawings, or write journal entries documenting the day. These mementos help reinforce the emotional bond.Reflect Together:
At the end of the day, ask your child: “What was your favorite part?” or “How did it feel to plan the day?” This reinforces trust, validation, and reflection.Celebrate the Magic:
YES Days are a reminder that childhood is fleeting. Celebrate the joy, curiosity, and wonder in your child’s eyes - it’s an opportunity to cherish the present moment together.
Long-Term Benefits for Parent and Child
For the Child:
Strengthened emotional security
Increased confidence and autonomy
Enhanced creativity and imagination
Stronger sense of trust in relationships
For the Parent:
Reconnection with your child’s world and perspective
Increased empathy and patience
Opportunities for play and joy in your own life
Strengthened parent-child relationship
YES Days are a two-way gift - they allow both child and parent to slow down, play, and reconnect with joy and curiosity.
Reflective Questions for Parents
How often do I allow my child to lead and make decisions?
What opportunities exist for me to step fully into their world without distraction?
How can I create intentional space for joy, trust, and independence in my parenting?
What activities would my child choose if given the freedom for a full YES Day?
YES Days are more than just fun - they are a powerful tool for connection, trust, and emotional development. By intentionally saying “yes” to your child, you foster independence, strengthen bonds, and experience the magic of childhood through their eyes.
Even one day a month can create lasting memories and transformative experiences for both parent and child.
So, parents, I encourage you to try it: step into their world, embrace curiosity, and say YES. You’ll be amazed at the joy, laughter, and connection that unfold.
Reflective Question for Readers:
What would your child ask for on their YES Day? How can you create a day that is truly magical for them?
